Chapter 45She Doesn't Know
"..."
"H-Hey... ...What's got you so deep in thought right now."
"Oh, okay..."
My thoughts were wandering inside my mind. It must have made me speechless, thus forcing Natsukawa to ask me with a worried look. She put down Airi-chan, approached me, and gently shook my shoulder. Everything that was inside my mind was finally mixed up, and instantly overflowed.
─The inside of my head became empty.
"H-Hey... ...say something."
"Oh... ...hmm..."
I opened my mouth, but no proper explanation came out. I didn't know what to say.
This wasn't me. Normally, I would think of all sorts of stupid ideas. Why it can't work when I really need it...
"Don't ignore meー!"
"Whoa?!"
As if to break through the awkward atmosphere, Airi-chan jumped towards me who was trapped. Because I pushed myself, she pushed me, turning me around.
"Don't bully Big Sis..."
"I-I'm not bullying her! Of course not bullying her!"
Airi-chan slapped her hand against my chest, looking like she was going to cry. I was very worried that she might start crying forever, so I tried to make excuses in a hurry. Since I had no experience of what to do in this situation, I felt frustrated.
Looking at Natsukawa, she had the same confused expression as she looked at Airi-chan. Maybe subconsciously, but she also glanced at me, her eyes teary— ─Hey, hey, hey, hey, please don't!!!
"I-I'll come to you next time! If you're okay with it, that's it! I mean, am I really allowed to?! Is that okay?! Is this your final answer?!"
My head was still a mess, but I shouted as loudly as I could.
Honestly, I don't think I should have approached her again while we were in the classroom... ...but yeah, I already said that, I don't think there's any turning back.
I've gone crazy up to this point because Natsukawa is different from 'usual'. First of all, she's been acting strange since we left school. Hence, I need to steer her back to her 'usual' self.
"I might get attached to you again, you know? I might say something weird again that will bother you. Even so, if you're okay with this, I don't mind coming to you like before."
Of course, no. She should hate it when I come to her 'acting like that'. Even though she considers me as her friend even if it's just a little, receiving so much attention from the opposite sex that she also doesn't like must feel bad. However, I always bothered her like that. Blinded by love, I couldn't realize it either.
It's possible that, as it became a habit of mine to always attach to her, Natsukawa developed a habit of staying away from me.
So, remember all that at this time, Natsukawa. It's me, the one you rejected so many times, a stalker, a clown who—
"─...That's a promise, okay?"
"..."
...
...What just happened? Don't tell me I'm still dreaming, okay?
I felt my sleeve being pulled. I really don't know why Natsukawa did that, but one thing for sure is that she didn't push me.
So, this kind of bitter-sweet incident can happen to me too? And not because someone set me up?
Even if, it's not bitter-sweet anymore, it's too sweet. Just tasting it this once, I might never forget the taste─ ─It's like a drug. This is what they call, 'The moment of attraction', where you start to get infatuated with others. I know it might be a pleasant moment, but depending on that, it's more like the beginning of torture than anything else.
"Oh..."
I pulled my arm and broke free from this too-sweet bond. At the same time, a deep sadness filled my chest, but I tried to hold it in.
Calm down, Sajou Wataru. This is not that kind of situation. Don't believe that, it's just your imagination. Remember everything you've done so far! Look at it from a broad perspective! Hold yourself together!
"...Leave it to me."
"Wh-What did you say...?"
"What did you sayー!?"
Hearing my great answer, Natsukawa showed a faint smile. I did say so with a flat face, but I think she can feel my great vibe. Maybe seeing that smile, Airi-chan also felt relieved, while imitating Natsukawa.
Hey, hey, stop hitting other people's stomach. Oh, hey─!
"─Darasha!"
"Whoa...!"
The little bit of air that was held in my chest came out all at once. At the same time, I picked up Airi-chan, and did the carry that Natsukawa showed me earlier. Perhaps she thought it was fun, she started laughing out loud... ...Oh... ...so cute.
"Hey, be careful with her!"
"It's okay, I won't put her in danger, though."
"Gosh..."
Horse. Protect. Master.
That's why I don't want her to grow up in the wrong way. That's why this 'dynamic carry' is also a form of light punishment... ...or so I thought. Yeah, if I punish her harshly, it will only make me hated. But even worse, it would make Natsukawa sad, so all I can do right now is act as a good big bro to her.
"Hey, if you hit other people, you'll make your big sis mad, you knowー."
"I don't want that!"
"I don't want that either. That's why you shouldn't hit other people, okay?"
"Okay, I understand, Sajouー"
"Big Bro."
"Sajouー"
"..."
...Yeah, as long as you understand. Wait, now that I think about it, I'm rarely in a higher position than anyone else. And so if this unreliable me, can be the one to teach others, then I'm happy. Please, grow up healthily and become like Natsukawa, someone who is smart and beautiful perhaps─ ─it hurts, it hurts. Don't grab other people's hair too...!
"Hey, don't grab other people's hair!"
"Ouch!"
I repositioned myself, which helped me free myself from her grab on my hair. She must have understood that what she did was wrong, because she didn't try to do something so cruel like that again. Since Natsukawa was giving a worried expression, I quietly returned Airi-chan to her.
"Huft... ...she's really energetic."
"Right... ...She wasn't this cheerful when she was with the other little kids in kindergarten. Maybe you're very easily bullied."
"If that's the case, it seems that my true nature is leaking out, so can you not say that again?"
Being easily bullied... ...is it okay for such a lame existence to be part of this planet...? NO! Of course not! This other party is just a little child! I'm sure there must be something about me that she likes more than that handsome boy! Like how cute I am! Maybe I should ask her.
"Airi-chan, who's more handsome? Takaaki or me?"
"What the heck are you asking...?"
"Handsome~?"
"What a wonderful education you've gotten."
"I would never teach her that word this early!"
You didn't learn about this word from anyone else... ...Once you set foot into the outside world, a battlefield awaits you. With so much other knowledge filling this world, it's impossible to filter out what's not important to you. However, Young Lady Airi won't remember a new word unless she hears it at least 3 times a day. What a talent! While right now my dear Big Sis is surrounded by handsome boys just for the heck of it, that's because when she was little, she kept shouting 'handsome' 'handsome' without knowing what it really means! She's so noisy, you know! By the way, it's a good idea for Young Lady Airi to get to know the meanings of those words from a young age!
"Who's more handsome? Takaaki or me?"
"Is being discouraged also a concept for you?"
"Takaaki!"
"Let's study again, shall we?"
"I'll hit you."
Sorry, that's what happened just now.
The atmosphere was very awkward before, but I feel like it's improved drastically. Don't think Natsukawa will get anything out of hearing what I'm feeling deep down. I knew it, maybe our distance is a bit too close right now. Come on, look at me with your usual sharp gaze, I'll melt like a snail, you know. In fact, I feel like my brain is melting.
♦
I realized that the sky outside was starting to turn red. When I looked at the clock, I thought it would be a good time to go home. Oh, I forgot that we're in the season where the sun is still high.
"─Gosh~..."
"Huft... ...She's still naive again."
"What the heck are you talking about...?"
Natsukawa showed a doubtful expression to me, as she hugged Airi-chan. She fell asleep while, I drained all her energy. Halfway through, when she already looked tired, I provoked her and she seemed to gather the rest of her strength. However, a little girl has no chance of winning against the energy of a high school boy! Fuhahaha!
"It feels like you're the same age as her..."
"That means our compatibility is good. Being a real 'Big Bro' like Sasaki is impossible for me."
"It's not like you're quite tired even though you say so..."
We somehow ended up practicing bumping into each other in the middle of the road. According to Natsukawa, Airi-chan rarely got the chance to go out like that with someone. Their father seems to be the type to give up right away.
...Wait, why is she also trying to win against me in terms of strength...?
I personally acted quite considerate despite saying so. Although there were joint mats on the floor, doing so was quite dangerous. It's quite tiring to deal with her in a way that won't get her hurt.
To all of you fathers in this world...! Try harder! Do your best!
"...I think it's a good time for us to end this visit."
"Oh... ...R-Right."
"What, are you 'reluctant to part' with me...?"
"I-I didn't say anything either...!"
Yeah, I know. SAD.
Just like Ashida said, I think Natsukawa is looking for some kind of relationship. Otherwise, there's no way she would have brought me here.
What should I do about this... ...Seriously, though, why did this kind of situation happen... ...Even though I myself should know that I can't see Natsukawa as anything but my romantic interest...
Just thinking about everything that happened today, I can't help but feel troubled by it. Perhaps that's what came over my face, Natsukawa showing me an expression of distress. But I let that pass just awkwardly scratching the back of my head.
Of course, Natsukawa was cute, and Airi-chan was cute too, but I also felt that even my exhausted mind couldn't handle this situation any longer.
"...Sajouー..."
"Hmm...?"
"Sajouー ...One more time, please."
"Okay, fine!"
It seems that Airi-chan likes my special technique─ ─'this dynamic carry'. Be it with our 'head butting training' (temporary name), this chick seems to really like the sensation. I'm sure, she will definitely enjoy sledding... ...I can't wait for her to grow up.
TL: Reeze27
ED: Reeze27
PR: Reeze27
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