Chapter 17Each of Our Ways
I put on a hand mask with both hands and took my breath that smelled of cheese. The only way to look directly at 'Senpai's current gap moe*' was to relax my muscles. Come out, my 'wise' self.
[TL Note: Gap moe is what Japanese people call it when they see a large gap between someone's serious appearance and cute personality.]
"...So, what do you want to consult me about?"
"Hmmm... ...nothing but my worries."
"Your worries? Not the worries of the Disciplinary Committee members who always get you excited?"
"That's right."
Although she is very good at encouraging others, it seems that Senpai also has her own worries. If you just look at her dignified demeanor, she doesn't seem to have any worries...
"As the President of the Disciplinary Committee, I want to help my colleagues, but when I give advice and motivation, "You can do it because you're the President.", that's the answer I always get."
"Oh... ...I see."
I understood what she was trying to say to me.
I think from those words, I can feel a nuance similar to what I said to the President in the corridor earlier, "Even if it's another girl...", yeah, that one. It seems that she can't reach them, I guess?
"'You can't understand my feelings.', I think Inatomi-senpai and others have said that to you."
"Mmm... ...right. They can say it clearly to me."
"And you want to discuss it with me, a first-year student..."
"I can't really ask them this kind of thing, and like you said, I don't have much chance to talk to my classmates, so I guess, maybe if it was you..."
"..."
Perhaps, Senpai has deeper insights than other people. This is not about insights in studying or anything like that, but about things that are more related to your daily lives. Since she is the President of the Disciplinary Committee, she should understand the feelings of others, including the students in the middle of the class and even the quiet students at the edge of the class. From her position, a nonsensical yet complicated idea like that might come to mind.
"I'm in the same position as Inatomi-senpai, so I'm sure that I can't understand it even if you explain the way you look at others."
"....I see."
"But, yeah, I think I know what they want Shinomiya-senpai to do."
"...! R-Really!?"
Shinomiya-senpai suddenly brought her face closer. Even though she knew that we were in the small counseling room, if she did this kind of thing, it would be a big problem for me... ...You're pretty, can I kiss you? And, you don't mind that my breath smells like cheese, right?
...Yeah, like I told Shinomiya-senpai, I can understand Inatomi-senpai's feelings. That's because I'm in "Inatomi-senpai's position" in the sense of mediocre specifications, not in "Shinomiya-senpai's position". In fact, even though Inatomi-senpai and I look alike, we don't look alike in terms of appearance.
The difference is similar to a cultural difference, yeah, that much. Even if you live in the same place, your perspective and thinking will change even if you see the same scenery, depending on whether you are a good person or a bad person. If you're a girl who keeps an eye on others, it's no wonder that your surroundings will feel so different from you.
"In conclusion, they don't expect Senpai to encourage them or anything like that."
"What... ...I-If that's the case, what should I do!?"
"Just say 'Don't think about it too much'... ...and do it while touching their shoulder. They'll be more than satisfied with that."
"Hmm..."
Ordinary body touch, Uhehehe. No, this isn't good, my greed just came out... ...This is just a consultation, remember, she's just asking me for advice...
"Senpai is like a boss with just the title 'President'. That's why the girls under you don't want you to sympathize with them until they match your level, and they want you to lead them without asking questions, regardless of your pretense."
"W-Will doing that make Yuyu and the others think more positively...?"
"Look, 'Don't think about it too much', those words come out of your mouth while touching their shoulders, right? I think they'll feel like they've ascended to heaven."
"A-Am I a goddess!?"
"To them, Senpai is probably more precious than a goddess."
I imagined the President of the Disciplinary Committee with a smile like a 'Holy Goddess', and I felt like becoming her baby... ...No, I need to strengthen my mind. At a time like this, I need to remember one thing about Natsukawa... ...Hmm? I don't feel much different? Hehehe, I can't stop smiling.
"So... ...what does everyone expect from me? I'm shy when someone compliments me. But right now, I think I can understand how I look to Yuyu and the others."
"...Are you already okay?"
"Yeah... ...but I'm also human, and I get depressed sometimes. Who should I rely on when I get like that?"
"They will feel relieved that the President is also human, when they see that kind of figure. They will support you as long as they are your colleagues. It's just that the way you do it and the way they do it are different."
"..."
There was a two-year age difference between Senpai and me, but we were still students. There is a big difference between students and the fact that there should be no difference between them, but basically there is still a difference in studying level and for good reason. That's why Shinomiya-senpai has the illusion that she and Inatomi-senpai are almost equal and there is no difference.
However, there is absolutely no such thing. The gap due to ability and title was created since elementary school, although I can't express it in words, I realized it when I was in elementary school.
"...I think it would be a good idea to find a boyfriend and ask him to encourage you, Senpai."
"What...? ...Impure things like that...?"
"What kind of boy do you like, Senpai?"
"Listen to what I just said!"
I won't bother saying the word "gap". I could just explain it to Senpai with beautiful words, but with just a few changes in the way I spoke, Senpai would glare at me sharply. That was not what I, who wanted to live in peace, wanted.
I took a deep breath and looked at the clock on the wall.
"It's already noon... ...this break time is coming to an end."
"Yeah, I'm sorry for taking your time."
"No, it's fine."
We both got up and left the counseling room. The students and teachers in the area opened their eyes wide and looked at me, "He's been scolded.", that's what I sensed from their eyes. And while I was looking around, Shinomiya-senpai touched my shoulder, like she wanted to say that she was tired.
"Yeah, I'll see you later someday."
"Yeah, see you later. By the way, I haven't asked your name yet, right?"
"Oh, I'm Yamazaki."
One of the mottos of ordinary people is, don't let someone in a prominent position, such as a teacher or the President of the Disciplinary Committee, remember your name.
So without thinking, a pseudonym came out of my mouth. Yeah, I did forget to put my name tag in my chest pocket today. So, I accidentally named myself, Yamazaki. And I think he would be happy if a pretty girl like Senpai suddenly called him out.
"But, seriously, I don't think your good intentions back then were a bad thing."
"...Is that so?"
Well then, I guess I'm not getting along with Senpai.
A difference of opinion. Only by denying can an argument be built, and only then can one be equal to the other side. However, my first step in the corridor was the limit for me. Senpai, she does not understand how average the kouhai in front of her is. Moreover, even I, myself, don't always know if my own ideas are right or not.
After all, Senpai, who has convictions and things that she cannot give up, is indeed strong. And I'm just an ordinary person, and I don't have enough fangs to point at anyone just by penetrating them.
♦
As I bought something at the convenience store and ate there, the sun began to set. The sky in the west had already turned orange. But the sun at dusk today seemed quite far away. They say that the sun appeared in the evening sky long ago? I wanted to see that kind of scene in reality even if it was only once in a lifetime.
I looked at the sky to the east, and I could see the beginning of night. In fact, I liked the contrast between the sky in the east and the west, which was divided into light and darkness like this, not just the beautiful twilight. I was mesmerized by that kind of reality.
"...Wataru?"
"!"
A female voice called my name as I stood near my house. I was surprised because I still remembered Natsukawa's previous visit, but when I thought about it, it was a rather familiar voice, but it was a bit difficult for me to talk to Natsukawa at the moment. Then there was only one choice of answer as to who this voice was from.
"Big Sis? How's your cram school going?"
"I'm in a bad mood today."
Eh, is that okay? Yeah, if you say you don't like it, there's nothing I can do. Actually, it seems to depend on the mood, even if she study, sometimes it doesn't enter her brain. If that's the case, I've been in a bad mood for studying for years. Hahahaha.
While blowing on the hot meat buns, her face frowned, and Big Sis just passed by me and went straight into the house. When I saw her buying and eating on the street, I realized that we were indeed siblings. That's because Big Sis forgot about her own position as a participant in today's university entrance examination. What a stupid Big Sis.
Yeah, it was indeed my beloved Big Sis, Kaede, who was in a bad mood, so she treated me as she pleased. Following her, I also rushed to the front door of the house and headed to the living room together, I saw her plastic bag.
"Wait, don't tell me... ...Did you just buy all the flavors?"
"No, it was them."
"Them...?"
"....No, it's nothing."
I wondered if it was just tasting the flavors rather than eating everything. Even though Big Sis carries a small lunchbox like a fool, just to enhance her impression as a girl, she always eat a lot in the morning and at night. Maybe her real stomach was quite big.
Just as I was about to enter the living room, Big Sis who was walking in front of me stopped, I almost bumped into her, so I stopped too.
"Big Sis?"
"Hey, you... ...Did you talk to that girl after that incident?"
"..."
The girl Big Sis' referring to is probably Natsukawa, who I invited into the house earlier. That was the first time Big Sis met Natsukawa. She was fussing about me finding a girl I've been in love with for a long time, so she probably already knew it was Natsukawa.
I had been talking to Natsukawa quite normally since her previous visit, so for some reason I was hesitant to answer Big Sis' questions honestly. That's why I replied with suggestive words.
"If you had listened to the conversation back then, you would have understood without me having to explain, right?"
"..."
On that day, I remembered Big Sis' and Mom's reactions after Natsukawa's departure. Because they were all women, and the way the two of them reacted in a romantic relationship was not strange. I can't forget their surprised faces when I explained that I was on the same level to stand beside Natsukawa.
I waited for Big Sis' usual swearing, but she said nothing and continued walking silently.
Author's Note: What did you realize after that?
TL: Reeze27
ED: Reeze27
PR: Reeze27
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