TL Note: This chapter was not adapted to the LN version, so it's unfortunate to miss it.
Chapter 5Self-Improvement
Summer is coming soon. Even so, the elders were already doing their usual radio practice with familiar voices. After finishing, I heard another nostalgic chorus and it sounded like a collection of hoarse voices.
Whether it was a hopeful morning or not, it was definitely quite fresh, different from the usual time to leave the house on weekdays. Up until now, I've always left the house 20 minutes earlier than today to fit in with Natsukawa. That way, it's enough for the sun to drastically change its position in the sky. And unlike yesterday, today I was part of the mass, the crowd of people rushing to work or school.
Please let me join in too!
But still, last night was exhausting.
After Natsukawa came home, of course, I was chased by Mom and Big Sis with scary faces. What kind of relationship do I have with that girl? What tricks did I use? And what kind of things did we just talk about?
In the end, they nagged me for asking about another girl in front of such a cute girl, but when I was asked that, I said, "What do Mom and Big Sis think? Can I be with such a cute girl like her?", and they both fell silent.
Honestly, I didn't mind them answering that question, you know?
But in any case, after that night passed, I felt very refreshed at the moment.
I had indeed tried more than enough to be able to continue being with Natsukawa. Of course, it was all to be able to stand beside her, who was good at everything. Thanks to that, I had the habit of studying and doing light exercise.
But still, my efforts never reached Natsukawa Aika. I suppose I would have taken the more painful path of just standing next to her, but right now, I didn't feel the need to do so at all. And if I adjust the standards of things to my potential...? Oh, well, right now, I no longer need to expect much from everything I do.
"...As I expected, it was scary."
"Reality"... ...approached me directly, and the dream I had always seen fell as if the windowpane had been broken.
Why did something inside me cool down? Right now, after I dealt with it, I finally understood why. That soccer ball that suddenly got in my way made me very depressed and made me very reluctant to pursue it again. Perhaps it was indeed forced to calm me down and make me look around me more objectively at that moment.
That way, I still don't know what happened at that moment.
But when I looked at myself looking down in the toilet mirror and thought to myself... "Who do you think you are?", that was the best self-analysis I found there.
...Let's make this skill useful for job hunting in the future.
♦
"...Huft."
The bell that started school rang. I was near the classroom, so I was able to arrive on time today.
Besides, I couldn't be late like yesterday anymore.
Just because I left home later than usual, it didn't mean I had to arrive at the last minute like today. Honestly, normally I would have already arrived at classroom and would be talking to some friends around me.
However, there was one thing stopping me from doing that. I remembered the seat next to me, it was Natsukawa Aika's.
"I knew it, that's impossible."
120% awkwardness, even though I was just sitting near her, the stress I felt was probably the kind of stress that could make me go bald quickly. I tried to keep my confidence as usual, but my heart was also as usual.
How could an ordinary citizen who did that kind of thing yesterday be proudly standing next to the Princess?
I dived into the classroom just as the teacher appeared from the end of the corridor. That was mission accomplished; thanks to most of the students making a scene, I was able to disguise myself as 'Student Z.' 'Student Z,' which is a character who won't wander around like an important character...
"Hey."
As soon as I sat down, Natsukawa called out to me. At the same time, all the scenes from last night flashed through my mind at once.
It's not that I want to break my relationship with her. On the contrary, I hope I can continue to be close to her as a classmate or just a friend. I would be very grateful if that happens.
After all, I am still her number one fan, no matter what.
After a moment of silence, I managed to make eye contact and stammered a reply.
"...G-Good morning."
"You, why are you late today...?!"
Just as Natsukawa said something to me, the teacher entered the classroom.
Ootsuki Megumi-sensei... also known as "Ootsuki-chan," stood still as if she remembered something, her eyes found me at the beginning, and a smile appeared on her face.
How could it be a smile in a good way... I'm sure of it!
"Good morning everyone. 'Today', it seems that everyone has come, without being late."
"What are you talking about, Ootsuki-chan, Sajou still hasn't come yet... ...Eh, he's already here!? Why are you already here!?"
"I'm always behind Natsukawa Aika, you know."
"You're lying, aren't you? You are..."
Then, everyone looked at me with a face as if they were saying, 'This boy, really?'.
...Is this what they do every day? Even Natsukawa was looking at me with an astonished look as well... ...Don't tell me that this girl doesn't believe it either...
"Sajou-kun. Can you come to the staff room later?"
"..."
It was too late when I realized my failure. I just remembered that I couldn't make that joke because some classmates knew that I had been chasing Natsukawa for two and a half years since I was in the second year of middle school.
♦
Ootsuki Megumi... ...A beautiful teacher who was admitted to the school at the same time I entered. However, if one were to say that she has a graceful personality, I don't think that would be entirely true. She will get angry when it's time to get angry, laugh when it's time to laugh, in short, she easily has a very close relationship with the students.
Come to think of it... ...Nowadays, even after I've come back to reality and realized how average I am, I still think that I'm the central character (*who makes the class feel more lively, basically a clown) in the class. Yeah, mostly what I did was a short performance called 'Chasing after Natsukawa Aika'. I never intended to be that kind of person, but, maybe that's no longer possible, right?
Disappear.
I need to disappear.
First of all, I'll start with Ootsuki-chan, a teacher who came to this school around the same time as me in early spring this year, but compared to my classmates, I didn't spend much time with her at school. Taking this first call as an opportunity, I would appeal if my attitude towards Natsukawa was not serious. From there, the target entered the classroom, and from that point on, my school life would become unmanageable, and it would turn calm.
For that reason, I am willing to accept the teacher's binding end (*Attack)... ...Hmm? Ootsuki-chan, no, I mean Ootsuki-sensei? Isn't the binding in your hand different from usual? It looks like something metal ─ Oh.
"...What I said before, everyone knows that it was a joke, right?"
"Sajou-kun, if you say so, it can't be considered a joke."
"Huh, is that so?"
...That's right, although I had the chance to look back at myself and realize my self-worth, but, that's just how I think, not how others see me. As far as I saw the atmosphere of the class and the way Ootsuki-sensei spoke to me, it seemed that they regarded me as a rather silly person.
As I was answering while thinking of various things, the teacher looked at me with a surprised face.
"This is unexpected... ...I thought you couldn't be 'cringe'. I think you can also have such normal circumstances, huh."
"Yeah, there are only teachers here after all."
"..."
In the classroom, each student has their own position. It was something that every student understood, although they never said so, and the teachers rarely interfered there.
Even so... ...most teachers should be aware of the existence of that hierarchy.
"So, you'll only be like this when you're in front of the teachers?"
"Yeah, it doesn't make much difference..."
"Is that so...?"
In reality, there is nothing wrong with teachers seeing the boring side of a student. On the contrary, it would be much more troublesome if a student knew a teacher more than necessary. The best thing I can do is to be a slightly disliked and troublesome student. Even during college, those students probably wouldn't be directed.
That's why I made myself look relaxed, it was so that she wouldn't be interested in me, but the teacher somehow had a depressed face, and strangely enough, it remained in my mind.
Author's Note: If I were a teacher, and my students thought like this, it would somehow make me feel sad.
TL: Reeze27
ED: Reeze27
PR: Reeze27
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