Chapter 41Entangled Emotions
"Sasaki...? Why are you holding your head like that?"
"Whose fault do you think it is...?"
In between classes, after I returned from the restroom, I found a boy who seemed to be daydreaming, holding his head with his hands and his upper body bent over the front of the seat.
Wait a minute, is he saying that it's actually my fault? No, it can't be, can it? The only problem that can make him like this must be caused by his little sis ─ Hmm? Sasaki's little sis...?
[Thank you for the picture. I'm going to turn into a little girl too from now on.]
"─Oh."
...That one? When he showed me the photo he took with Airi-chan, and because he did that with a proud and arrogant face, I told that to his little sis, Yuki-chan, back then, huh? Yeah, she really surprised me with a statement that sounded like she was about to undergo a metamorphosis. But, it's impossible to be the case, right?! Hahahahaha!
"...What happened to Yuki-chan?"
"She started carrying an elementary school bag ─No, it's okay, though."
"But I heard most of it already?"
Sasaki Yuki-chan (14 years old)... ...all I can imagine from her is a scene where a little sister hugs her big bro with a cheerful smile.
When I visited their house before, I was quite happy that she asked for my contact information, but I never expected her to ask me to report Sasaki's behavior at school.
Yeah, if she were my own little sis, I would still find her behavior cute... ...After all, if you're spoiled by someone, you might find that person cute regardless of that person's personality, right?
But, I knew it, maybe if I were her real big bro, I might see her behavior in a different way.
"That's because you cheated on her with Natsukawa's little sis, you foolー."
"No, that's not true! Rather than Airi-chan, I prefer — Oh..."
"..."
Sasaki frantically stopped his own words. Of course, I immediately understood the reason. When I did it, as expected, I couldn't help the cold feeling that filled deep inside my chest. But still, even though, I let it stay there, I didn't plan to let it out.
"...I see."
"Don't just say 'I see.' to me... You little..."
"I'm not going to tell her this. On the contrary, is there any boy who wouldn't fall in love with her?"
"I mean, not that I'm being a smartass, but...."
"It's the girl herself who will decide. No matter what action you take, the only person who has the right to judge it is Natsukawa. I have no right to change her opinion. I just don't really like her and I'll probably act cold after that."
"So, you're going to act cold to me, huh."
"Of course, what do you think I'll do?"
If suddenly next to your favorite idol that you really like, you saw the shadow of another boy, you would hate that boy, right? And if you met the actual boy from the shadow, you'd want to say 'I hate you' right to his face, right?
I wouldn't mind if we stopped talking because of that. I mean, even if we keep talking, we'll feel awkward with each other anyway... ...and maybe we'll stay like that forever.
"Sajou, I'm seriously going after her."
"What made you suddenly so excited?"
"..."
Before I could say anything further than that, Sasaki got up, and left the classroom. His confident look as he passed me burned in my chest. I felt annoyed that his every little action was exactly like that of a popular and handsome boy.
...What a j*rk. Why does it feel like he can do anything just because of his looks? I knew it, in the end, being stylish is about 'who does it', though...
But what I didn't expect was that this boy actually saw me as his rival. I mean, usually someone as handsome as him should be better looking than him, right? If he saw me as his rival and fought me tooth and nail, without a doubt, he would beat me to a pulp... ...can he not do that, please...
"But, Sasaki... ...huh?"
Ever since I announced my plan, 'Great Production Strategy', to make Natsukawa much more popular, I knew that this day would come eventually. Since I was always around her, I was automatically in a position where my role was to protect her from boys, as a place for her to escape from other boys.
But right now, after I leave, every boy in the vicinity will be fully aware of Natsukawa's cuteness, and they definitely won't just leave her behind. Yeah, I've expected all this since I announced it.
I myself don't know if I can accept Sasaki or not. Yamazaki and I are close enough to insult him as 'that handsome b*stard'. And the girls around us told us to shut up. That's what usually happens between us... ...huh? Do I have a chance against him too? And also, why was Yamazaki who joined the Basketball Club, and was quite handsome and tall, on my side?
Yeah, I've already stopped wishing to be with a girl who is beyond my limits like Natsukawa. So, at the very least, I want her to be with a boy who makes me say 'Huh, of course you're right'. That's why, if Sasaki really wants her, I'll make sure myself. Is he a boy who is not only handsome on the outside, but also on the inside. Since his little sis likes him so much, he can't be a bad boy, right? But, the best I can do is to confirm it myself.
♦
Yeah, who cares about that... ...Sasaki? Who is that, huh?
I had already forgotten all about it, looking at Natsukawa who was upset before my eyes. As I stood in front of the shoe locker at the entrance, someone suddenly tugged on my sleeve, and when I turned around, it was Goddess or something... ...a very cute existence that I can't say was there.
...Sorry, more than someone called Sasaki, who are you?
My resolve is just like minced meat. Before I realized that, it was easily destroyed. Who cares about Sasaki... ...By the way, I'm sorry about this, Natsukawa, but this attack won't work against me. I'm made of rubber... ...No, really, I'm just lying. Hehe.
"So... ...what's up, cutie?"
"I-I'm not cutie!"
Natsukawa turned her face away mid-sentence with a cute pout that made my heart skip a beat. The expression she put on in our brief conversation was cute enough for me to throw off my glove and run to the center of the baseball stadium right after I caught the ball, and then shout how cute she was as if I'd planned to do that in the first place... ...Seriously, though, my self-control, where are you going?
...By the way, I can see flowers blooming in the part that she beat up while pouting. And so, I was taken captive by the forest fairy ─Huh, wait! I'm not a mandrake.
Natsukawa held onto my sleeve, showing no signs of moving away.
...This is bad. All my nerves are focused on her. My head froze, I couldn't think of anything.
Natsukawa's face was lowered, so I couldn't see her expression.
...Wait a minute, is Natsukawa always this petite? She and Ashida don't seem like strange partners when they stand next to each other...
I lowered my hips to look at her face, and asked at the same time.
"...So? Is this about your little sis...?"
"H-Her name is Airi.... remember that..."
"Y-Yeah!"
I've been receiving endless attacks from Big Sis. And, I'm the one who withstood all of her attacks here. However, what is this? Although the killing intent and impact were barely present in her attacks, I felt like I was going to die here. As if I'm going to disappear after being purified. Even though all she did was stare at me with her crimson face, why was I purified? Because she's a goddess? Eh, is that means I'm a spirit?
Yeah, she changed her mind after saying that she wouldn't let me meet Airi-chan, of course she would feel awkward, right? By the way, will she get mad if I touch her cheek? ...She might get mad... ...I might get reported... ...and get mobbed to a pulp...
"Um... ...is this about when you're going to invite me to your house?"
"..."
Natsukawa awkwardly nodded, and as she let go of my arm, she picked it up again in the same place. Yet she let go again, but she hesitantly grabbed it again, and then, she slowly lowered her hand... ...Let's go to the marriage register...?
...Yeah, maybe I should give her some space. If what Ashida said was indeed not a lie, then Natsukawa put me in the same group as her. However, that was just Ashida's subjective observation, and from what I could see of Natsukawa's actions towards me, I felt that neither I nor she could accept that statement.
The reason was because Natsukawa and I saw each other as the opposite sex. I did have romantic feelings for Natsukawa, and she hated me as a boy. However, Ashida didn't focus on that. That girl, she probably saw the relationship between me and Natsukawa as just friends.
A friendship between a boy and a girl is possible. After all, my relationship with Ashida feels more like friends than anything. And if I were to deny it, then the various groups of boys and girls around me must have very complicated relationships. Yeah, these people were probably just trying hard not to notice each other. But if their relationship can't be called friendship, then what else can it be? Doesn't society have too many dark secrets? It's friendship, okay.
Ashida kept saying that I was part of the group around Natsukawa. So, there's a part of Natsukawa that keeps denying seeing me as the 'opposite sex,' even so she wants me to meet Airi-chan, and there's a part of her that can't accept this, that's why she's mixed up. However, this action that Natsukawa showed me, is evidence that I can accept because what Ashida said was not completely wrong.
If that's the case, what can I do to make the choice easier for Natsukawa─ that is to be neither a boy, nor someone of the opposite sex, but simply 'Sajou Wataru', where she can be easily talked to.
"..Hey, I don't really mind."
"Eh...?"
"You're worried about you being so against me meeting Airi-chan until now, aren't you?"
When I get carried away like this, she relaxes. Then, what I need to do now is to be like that time when the vibe around me was 'I know everything about you (said so while smiling)'. I'm sure that if I let her feel annoyed with me like back then, she can be much easier to be honest with herself.
"I-I'm not too worried─"
"Yeah, right, that's impossible. I mean, everyone knows that too, Natsukawa."
"Oh, ugh..."
It's not that I understand her because it's me. Everyone who would see her at this time also knew that she was acting strangely. How cute she is right now. Honestly, I don't want others to see the current Natsukawa. Hmm? My will is leaking out again...?
"If I can meet her, then I'll be happy. I really want to meet her. Sometime is fine too, so it's okay, just take it slow, Natsukawa."
"Oh..."
In fact, I did want to meet Airi-chan, ever since I first saw her photo... ...wait what did I just think about a little girl like her... ...I'm not a 30-year-old middle-aged boy who's excited for his first arranged marriage date. Yeah, at this point I'm referring to someone else's little sis as a 'little girl' just like that (not nice), I guess. Yeah, since I can get along with Yamazaki, maybe I'm that kind of person.
"─I-It can't be helped, then! I-If you're that desperate, I'll introduce you!"
"Oh."
That's it, that's how it should be, Natsukawa. Now you can get through this without beating yourself up, right? And you can also be honest with your own honest feelings, right? Then, you also don't have to worry about my feelings. As a boy who once loved Natsukawa ─ No, as her fan, I want her to keep smiling. Because that is my own happiness. For that, I will swallow any unreasonable complaints or frustrations that she might throw at me. That's why, I need to get rid of all those dirty thoughts right now, and–
"...Thank you, Natsukawa."
"Um... ...Um... ...Yeah..."
See, right now Natsukawa doesn't have to think too much about this ─ Hmm? Why is she holding her mouth and wiggling her lips wildly like that? Eh, is she smiling? Is my face that weird? I guess even a Goddess can't stay silent if I really put on a strange face. But, just now, I said so with a flat face... ...Wait, why is your face so red─ ─So cute. Why the heck, you're so cute. Oh, my dirty mind──
Author's Note: Aaah!
TL: Reeze27
ED: Reeze27
PR: Reeze27
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